Sticky Issues
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Sticky Issues Archive >
In this section, principals tell how they handled a challenging situation, how some policy that was in place actually worked, and the lessons learned from dealing with these Sticky Issues. Send your stories to principal@osu.edu. Please indicate if we may use your name in the “contributor” credits.
Deep Understanding of Cultural Conflict
Staff Conflict Arising out of Parent Confrontation
One day shortly after dismissal, there were loud voices in the hallway as teachers returned from seeing the children off from the playground. It turned out to be several of the teachers who had been on the playground and who had witnessed an altercation between one of the white teachers and a mother picking her child up in the car. The teacher had been trying to contact the parent to discuss the progress of the child. When the teacher approached the parent and started asking her why she had not returned notes and calls, the parent admonished her not to talk to her in “that tone.” The teacher, who had a loud voice and was an assertive type herself, shook her finger at the parent and assured her she wasn’t using a hostile tone. One thing led to another until one of the African American teachers intervened, told the parent that the teacher in question meant no harm and smoothed over the situation. The two teachers were friends, so as they were walking to the office the white teacher felt comfortable in asking her black friend if she had been out of line. By the time they reached the office they were in intense dialogue about the situation. Several other staff members had been drawn into the conversation. When I inquired about the problem, everyone weighed in on what had happened. The conversation had become so intense and animated that I invited the half dozen teachers to sit down around the conference table so we could continue the dialogue.
The conversation covered issues like nuances of how white teachers approach black parents. In the situation in question some felt that the pointing of the finger at the parent was accusatory and showed a lack of respect. The teacher felt that she was making a point. Some of the black teachers felt that some of the white teachers did not respect the black parents. Some of the teachers felt that for the most part, black parents did not care about the education of their children as evidenced by them not returning phone calls and notes.
There was a very honest airing of feelings about racial attitudes that day. One incident unleashed a wide range of tensions that had been resting just beneath the surface. I’m reminded of a book titled It’s the Little Things by Lena Williams. Her premise is that there are racial insensitivities that occur to which we have either become desensitized or that blow up in our faces. This sticky issue that developed at school reminded me that it is important to look beneath the surface and have opportunities to have deep conversation in order to gain understanding. In the words of Margaret Wheatley in Turning to One Another:
Human conversation is the most ancient and easiest way to cultivate the conditions for change—personal change, community and organizational change, planetary change. If we can sit together and talk about what’s important to us, we begin to come alive. We share what we see, what we feel, and we listen to what others see and feel.
