Professional Readings
printer friendly >
Professional Readings Archives >
Professional Readings includes reviews of recent publications and highlights of reports on current issues that affect schools. Your contributions are welcome. Send them to principal@osu.edu. Please indicate if we may use your name in the “contributor” credits.
This article has been modified and reprinted with the permission of Coaching For Results, Inc., a nonprofit organization to provide leadership coaching and training. PDF > (18 KB)
“Bracketing” Your Requests to Influence External Forces
An important leadership skill to develop in order to get what you want either personally or professionally is to be able to tell the difference between making a negotiable request and making a non-negotiable demand. Do you remember the conversation that you had that was a half-hearted or off-handed remark that you made hoping that the other party would “get it?” Do you remember being resentful when you did not get the response that you had hoped for? What is that conversation that you know you must have with someone that you haven’t been able to bring yourself to discuss? One of the most difficult things to do as an effective leader or in our personal lives is to state clearly what we really want and then to put brackets around our requests so that others know when we expect a response and what kind of response we expect.
In attempting to communicate more clearly one must first determine what it is they want. Secondly, they must determine what it is they have communicated to the other party. Often it is not what was intended. Third, they must determine what it is they want to communicate to the other party. And finally, they must improve the communication based upon the gap between what is communicated and what they want to be communicated by “bracketing” the new request with time limits and indicators of what they want accomplished. In the event an emergency comes up as it often does in our line of work, it’s fine for either party to renegotiate the day and time in question. This is how one more clearly communicates rather than leaving intentions dangling.
The following examples illustrate ways communication can be improved by stating clearly what you want.
Example #1: What he/she really wants
The superintendent wants the second in command to go and find another job so she can hire a better fit to her vision and style. While she feels that her second has a lot to offer, she feels they no longer fit together as a team and she knows she would be happier if her second in command sought her own superintendency.
Current behavior and what it communicates
She has given her second in command additional responsibility with the same pay possibly communicating that she wants more from her second rather than less. They continue to have flare-ups with each other about the course of action to take. They do not understand each other.
Desired communication
“I value your leadership, but I do not think that our styles are compatible. I think you are ready to have your own superintendency and I will make every effort to support you as you go out and try your wings.”
Bracketed Language
“Please let me know when you apply for other positions, and I will write a letter of recommendation for you. If you have not found something else by the next school year, we will renegotiate your contract and try to find a better match for your skills within the district.”
Example #2: What he/she really wants
The principal wants the intern to take the initiative and act like an administrator by scheduling a meeting with him so they can plan the intern’s experience.
Current behavior and what it communicates
The principal offhandedly in the hall said to the intern, “we’ll have to get together to talk about your internship.” The intern assumed he would come and get her when he was ready to talk. The principal was disappointed and baffled that the intern was not picking up his hints!
Desired communication
The principal had some specific assignments that he wanted the intern to take care of right away.
Bracketed Language
With calendar in hand say, “I’d like to meet with you on Thursday morning from 8:00-9:00 to outline your internship with you. If that time doesn’t work, let’s pick another time.” Or, “I would like to set several dates when we can conferences about your internship. Which dates work for you?”
Example #3: What he/ she really wants
The superintendent wants his deputy to read an important document and tell him what he thinks of the program.
Current behavior and what it communicates
He gave him the paper and said, “here read this and tell me what you think.” The deputy took it as a casual request that they would discuss sometime! Two weeks later the superintendent was still wondering if the deputy had read it and if so what his deputy thought of the program.
Desired communication
I want us to decide by the 2-week deadline if we will purchase this program for the district.
Bracketed Language
“Please read this. Let’s set a meeting for Thursday, November 28 at 9:00 with the senior team to see if this program has merit for our district. Please provide an executive summary of the pros and cons for the meeting.”
Have the courage to clearly communicate your wants to the other party by putting brackets on your requests to convey the specifics of your request. This will improve communications as you lead and influence others.
